“When encountered with a different and opposing view, an innate negative reaction would often enter our minds. It is natural to squint or react disapprovingly to an idea or statement that clashes with strongly held personal beliefs. After all, foreign ideas invoke scepticism. Here, the author explores how Islam engages ikhtilaf as a tool that encourages Muslims to see different points of view in order to appreciate the religion better. This is where adab comes into the picture.”

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

To assume that ikhtilaf (conflict/differences) and adab (etiquette) are opposites that cannot be reconciled is a reasonable assumption. After all, ikhtilaf is often associated with heated disagreements, while adab often denotes moral behaviour. Even so, these seemingly separate and distinct concepts are not mutually exclusive: It is possible to hold conflicting views but at the same time conduct oneself in a civil manner.

We currently live in an era when it is very easy to be vocal as platforms such as social media amplify our voices but it comes at a price. Just as you can easily share your opinion, others can do so with relative ease and this inadvertently sets the stage for disagreements and conflict. This phenomenon is perfectly encapsulated in the saying: “One man’s faith is another man’s heresy”.

It is important to understand at this juncture that ikhtilaf is here to stay. In other words, to disagree or to hold opposing views is a universal fact of life. Hence, the realistic way out is not to regulate conflict but instead to regulate our attitudes when dealing with topics of conflict. But is the intrinsic nature of having differences bad? The answer is no. Having differences is in and of itself a symbol of diversity. In fact, the diversity of viewpoints as a result of ikhtilaf is a blessing in itself (even if it is paradoxical).

Even so, why is there a need to place an emphasis on adab?

Adab acts as a counterbalance to ikhtilaf. It serves as a reminder that good character and civility must never be lost regardless of the circumstances of the ikhtilaf.

To illustrate, it is important to look back at recent events. When MUIS issued fatwa (religious edicts) with regards to performing prayers in light of the Covid-19 pandemic, some Muslims were outraged and vented their displeasure on social media. The salvo of insults and disparaging remarks levelled against MUIS and its staff in the comments section on social media is a worrying indicator of the development of a certain attitude towards disagreements. Even if one chooses to disagree with the fatawa, this kind of ikhtilaf and behaviour should be abhorred and discouraged. It is unbecoming of Muslims to resort to insults whenever a disagreement arises.

So, moving forward what can be done?

A possible solution is to instill and inculcate the practice of engaging a conflicting idea at an intellectual level: that is to steer clear of any ad hominem attacks. Be objective in your deliberations and discussions. Start with the simplest conversations with friends and family. Slowly eradicate the “us vs them” mentality. Habits are definitely hard to forget, but nothing is impossible. We have to unlearn bad practices in order to relearn better ones and that requires practice and patience. Change is never instantaneous but we must strive towards a more perceptive and compassionate society.

Ultimately, the more dire solution is to instill the value of adab by means of respecting those engaging in the ikhtilaf – so that what matters most is the ukhuwwah (kinship) between the parties involved and not victory.

In conclusion, the decline of adab is not a trivial matter. Even in our disagreements, we must never lose sight of the higher purposes of Islam. There is no ikhtilaf without adab.